HIS FACE IN MY JOURNEY
Resting in His Shadow
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1
When we are in the midst of turmoil, all we can think about is getting through it. We just want it to end! But the reality of cancer is that it never really ends because we know it might come back. How does one live with the uncertainty? I once heard it described as living in the shadow of death. This certainly is an accurate description of how it feels, but oh, how I hated it! I told God that I did not want to live my life in the shadow of death! So, God, in His infinite love and mercy, gave me Psalm 91.
Psalm 91 is a popular psalm, and I’m not sure how I missed it. But until one day in the midst of chemotherapy, I had never read it. I was sitting in my chair feeling pretty down and beat up and noticed that my bible was open on my footstool. I placed it on my lap and there was Psalm 91. As I read through it, my emotions erupted like Mt. St. Helens. God was speaking to me about my cancer.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” God was telling me that I didn’t have to live in the shadow of death. I could rest in His shadow, instead! What a powerful revelation! I asked God to teach me how to dwell in His shelter, and I was filled with confidence that He would. But the rest of the psalm was a little trickier.
I wanted Him to save me from the deadly pestilence that had invaded my life (v. 3), and I longed to be free of the fears that haunted me during the night (v. 5). I was tired of Satan stalking me all day long with his tormenting lies that pierced my hope like arrows (v. 5, 6). I wanted to believe that death would not come near me (v. 7), that disaster would not come to my family (v. 10). I wanted to believe that He would send His angels to rescue me (v. 11) and that I would have long life...(v. 16). But believing these things was not automatic. I was hopeful for them and wanted to claim them as promises for my life. And while I sensed that God wanted those things for me, too - after all, it seemed as though He had literally dropped the psalm into my lap - I needed confirmation that it wasn't just my imagination. Believing that I was indeed receiving a promise from God was going to require a process...
Through the teaching and support of my brilliant and caring pastor, the Lord walked me through the process of pressing into the psalm that He gave me. My pastor warned me that there would be no artificial way to expedite the process or push through it in the energy of the flesh. It must all flow out of relationship with God through the Spirit. First, he said, I was to ask the Lord for what He was promising by praying the psalm back to Him in petition and request: "Would you save me from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence" (v. 3)? This would start me out in a place of humility, which is where faith can honestly operate. Then, my pastor explained, if the Lord was
really in the process - if the promise was really from God - the time would come when my faith
would rise to the level of claiming it, and I would shift my prayer into a declaration: "Surely You will save me
from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence". Then would come another shift when I could begin
to thank and praise God for the matter as if it had already come forth: "Thank you, Lord, for saving me from the
fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence."
As I prayed into Psalm 91, I quickly realized that patience and perseverance would be required. I made a commitment to the process because I am committed to God and I was convinced that He wanted to speak to me through that psalm. And, boy, did He have a lot to say! He led me to places of repentance and forgiveness, bringing light to the dark corners of my heart. He spoke to me about relinquishing my children and my own life to Him. He shifted my mindset and broke down walls that I didn't even know existed. He put dreams on my heart and filled me with hope. Not only did God seal His promise to me through that psalm, but He taught me how to dwell in His shelter and rest in His shadow. He pointed out that the number of days I have on this earth is not my business; my job is to focus on living every day of my life fully for Him. Six months later, I experienced a breakthrough in my healing and a final shift in my faith. For the first time, I was able to pray Psalm 91 thanking Him and praising Him for the promise of complete healing! I am now walking in faith believing that I am cured.
Praying through a psalm is not a formula for healing. There is no formula in scripture, it is a relational dynamic. God chose to speak to me through Psalm 91, but He will most likely speak to you in a different way. The key is to be open to God's voice and leading, and obediently seek after Him in relationship in whatever way He directs. Our God is an awesome God! There truly is none like Him! May He open the eyes of your heart and enable you to see Him.
Psalm 91 is a popular psalm, and I’m not sure how I missed it. But until one day in the midst of chemotherapy, I had never read it. I was sitting in my chair feeling pretty down and beat up and noticed that my bible was open on my footstool. I placed it on my lap and there was Psalm 91. As I read through it, my emotions erupted like Mt. St. Helens. God was speaking to me about my cancer.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” God was telling me that I didn’t have to live in the shadow of death. I could rest in His shadow, instead! What a powerful revelation! I asked God to teach me how to dwell in His shelter, and I was filled with confidence that He would. But the rest of the psalm was a little trickier.
I wanted Him to save me from the deadly pestilence that had invaded my life (v. 3), and I longed to be free of the fears that haunted me during the night (v. 5). I was tired of Satan stalking me all day long with his tormenting lies that pierced my hope like arrows (v. 5, 6). I wanted to believe that death would not come near me (v. 7), that disaster would not come to my family (v. 10). I wanted to believe that He would send His angels to rescue me (v. 11) and that I would have long life...(v. 16). But believing these things was not automatic. I was hopeful for them and wanted to claim them as promises for my life. And while I sensed that God wanted those things for me, too - after all, it seemed as though He had literally dropped the psalm into my lap - I needed confirmation that it wasn't just my imagination. Believing that I was indeed receiving a promise from God was going to require a process...
Through the teaching and support of my brilliant and caring pastor, the Lord walked me through the process of pressing into the psalm that He gave me. My pastor warned me that there would be no artificial way to expedite the process or push through it in the energy of the flesh. It must all flow out of relationship with God through the Spirit. First, he said, I was to ask the Lord for what He was promising by praying the psalm back to Him in petition and request: "Would you save me from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence" (v. 3)? This would start me out in a place of humility, which is where faith can honestly operate. Then, my pastor explained, if the Lord was
really in the process - if the promise was really from God - the time would come when my faith
would rise to the level of claiming it, and I would shift my prayer into a declaration: "Surely You will save me
from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence". Then would come another shift when I could begin
to thank and praise God for the matter as if it had already come forth: "Thank you, Lord, for saving me from the
fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence."
As I prayed into Psalm 91, I quickly realized that patience and perseverance would be required. I made a commitment to the process because I am committed to God and I was convinced that He wanted to speak to me through that psalm. And, boy, did He have a lot to say! He led me to places of repentance and forgiveness, bringing light to the dark corners of my heart. He spoke to me about relinquishing my children and my own life to Him. He shifted my mindset and broke down walls that I didn't even know existed. He put dreams on my heart and filled me with hope. Not only did God seal His promise to me through that psalm, but He taught me how to dwell in His shelter and rest in His shadow. He pointed out that the number of days I have on this earth is not my business; my job is to focus on living every day of my life fully for Him. Six months later, I experienced a breakthrough in my healing and a final shift in my faith. For the first time, I was able to pray Psalm 91 thanking Him and praising Him for the promise of complete healing! I am now walking in faith believing that I am cured.
Praying through a psalm is not a formula for healing. There is no formula in scripture, it is a relational dynamic. God chose to speak to me through Psalm 91, but He will most likely speak to you in a different way. The key is to be open to God's voice and leading, and obediently seek after Him in relationship in whatever way He directs. Our God is an awesome God! There truly is none like Him! May He open the eyes of your heart and enable you to see Him.
