HIS FACE IN MY JOURNEY
Inward Healing
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new
birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance
that can never perish, spoil or fade." 1 Peter 1:3,4
Spiral Jetty, Great Salt Lake, Utah
As part of my healing, I was encouraged by my pastor and other prayer ministers to look beyond the physical and
consider my disease from a spiritual perspective. Specifically, to seek God for any holes in my armor that may have
allowed cancer to penetrate my body. There is scientific evidence that the mind, body and spirit are connected and
that our spiritual and emotional health can affect our physical health (1),(2). With all that I was going through, I wasn't exactly thrilled at the notion of embarking on an inward journey. But I trusted those who were ministering to me and pursued God for inner healing. It was a difficult and consuming process to address the hurts from my past that had
created strongholds and destructive patterns of thinking, and I felt overwhelmed at times. But, the Lord was gracious and revealed one major thing.
During the faith course I took at my church a month after I finished chemotherapy, my pastor and a guest teacher prayed over each of us.
As my pastor prayed, he repeated the words "take the cap off". I knew
this was prophetic and had something to do with "breaking free", but at the time, I was unsure of any details.
Several weeks later, I was reading and dialoguing with God in the book of Joshua chapter 5 as part of my homework assignment for the class. I heard the Lord speak to my heart that He was preparing me, just as He had prepared the Israelites to receive the land He promised them. I told the Lord that I was happy to do anything that He asked of me, and that I truly desired to surrender to Him, but that I would need His help because I felt like I was going around in circles. "You are going in circles," He spoke to my heart, "but don't be discouraged. This is all for a reason." Politely - I inquired of the reason. He told me to draw a circle inside of itself. So, I began to draw what looked like
a spiral, and immediately I knew. "With each revolution you are making progress and
eventually you will end up at the heart of the matter."
I was blown away! I knew this did not come from me and immediately fell to a place of awe as I recognized
the voice of the Lord speaking to me. Wow, what an amazing encouragement! I thanked Him for the word and He went on to say: "It's about making progress by continuing to move forward in the process doing the things set before you one at a time." I was deeply encouraged and obediently pursued God in the process He laid out for me. And God was faithful to eventually reveal the "heart of the matter" - a major heart wound from my past. It was the source of the "cap" that was holding me back. I met with my prayer ministers and we prayed boldly that the Lord would take the cap off, and HE DID! The minute I left the prayer meeting, I knew that I was a different person.
God saved my soul, healed my body and restored my heart. It was a day of new beginnings and I have never felt more free.